Guy Friends

I know that I have touched base on this subject before, but I think it's becoming a problem, and not just me but in a whole. I mostly prefer to hang out with guys, because I'm not big on the gossip scene. This never was a problem until I became a wife. I think the problem is three fold and this is why:

1. People gossip. Especially on a base where not very much goes on. Other people see you out with guys, know you husband is gone and next thing you know there's the gossip and speculation. How this is fair I'm not sure, but it happens.

2. Other wives. Now I know this isn't fair but it is partially to blame. I'm talking about the wives who are not good in moral standing. I've seen it happen myself. Wives who go out and cheat on their husbands while they are away because they are soooo lonely. Give me a break! You knew he wouldn't be home the whole time when you married him. Hello! Military does go away to do their job.

3. The guys that sleep with the wives. I'm not talking about the guys that have no clue, who meet these women in the bar, are lead on to believe they're single, and find out after the fact. I'm talking about the shipmates, who sleep with a wife that they know is a wife. Where is the sense of honor? How about respect? These guys do deserve to be brought to mast.

The combination of these three do not help women like me who would never in a million years cheat on their husbands but hang out with guys. I mean come on think about the bisexual women. They could sleep with a man or a women so what are they supposed to do? Sit in their house and twiddle their thumbs. As I've explained it to other people, the guys I hang out with I don't view them as a guy, I view them all as big gay brothers who are disgusted by the sight of women. I just wish that people would start to mind their own business. Quite frankly I think it makes a deployment harder having to second guess who I talk to, who comes over, who I go to the bars with. I mean until there is rock solid proof, why open your mouth? The speculation alone could ruin a marriage.

If you're a women like me, I believe this is the best way to handle it. My husband and I have a very open relationship. He knows about everyone I hang out with, and I email him, or if no email is available I write it in a letter about who I was hanging out with that day, what we did, where we went, all that sort of stuff. That way if someone goes to him and says your wife is cheating she was at this place with this guy, he already knows what was going on and it's not a big deal. Being open and honest is better, especially on a deployment. Trust is also a big factor, on both ends. Our husbands have enough to worry about over there and by telling them the details of the everyday going ons back home, you can put their minds at ease.