The Guam Problem

So I know I speak for just about every mainland wife who has been stationed in Guam. I hate trying to shop out here. On base is the worse. Now if you're a wife anywhere else you are allowed to bring one guest with you into your exchange and commissary. Out here is the only base in the world where that is not an option. The cause? The locals. The ones that still are allowed base privilages buy for their relatives anyway, so it really hasn't fixed the problem. I definitely have a problem attempting to go shopping for dinner and to not be able to get any meat because the locals next to me have literally a cart filled to the top of nothing but meat. I don't think it's fair that people like this still get access when it causes such a problem for the rest of us. I understand base is cheaper than the local grocery stores but by abusing the privilages that you have, you're making life harder for the rest of us. A lot of the time lately I've had to go off base to do my grocery shopping because the commissary has been sold out. I've found the best way to get food is to go all the way to the opposite end of the island to the Air Force base because their security is tighter which means it's harder for the locals to get access. So usually their food selection is decent.

Country and Support

So maybe I'm the only one picking up on this, but why has there been such a steady decline in support for our country and troops. It seems like lately there's numerous people complaining about America or our troops. Now if this was coming from another country, I wouldn't pay attention to it, however it's coming from our own citizens. Don't get me wrong at times there have been mistakes made, but lets face it, we're all human so naturally we're going to make mistakes every once in a while. I just don't get how people can live in this country and then constantly criticize it. If you think somewhere else is so great to live, by all means feel free to live there. What happened to the days where it didn't take a tragedy or the Fourth of July for people to fly the American Flag outside their home? Is it just that people have such a short attention span now that they forget about Osama? You know what? Fine lets forget about him, pull out of the Middle East and give him a couple years so he can attack us again. I mean come on, whats a few thousand lives. As for the people that talk shit about our troops, (politically incorrect warning) GO FUCK YOURSELVES! My husband, our friends and hell even people Idon't know but STILL RESPECT are out there risking their lives to keep yours alive and able to say those things. It makes me wonder if sometimes people take their rights for granted, or at least abuse them. Like the "preacher" from Kansas that protests soldiers funerals. I swear if I was one of those wives, he would not be alive. I would gladly spend the rest of my days in jail for killing him and all of his followers. I don't have a problem with protesters, as long as there is some basis for their protests. I could go on for days about grievances but I'll sum it up...

If your loved ones are at home safe and sound every night, and you don't feel like you're in danger every waking second of every day because a bomb might drop on your house, thank a soldier and think before you speak. Take a step back and realize exactly how lucky you are to live in this great country. Oh yeah and stop moaning about things that need to be fixed and actually fix them.

A Housefull

So my house is going to be estrogen central. My friend Andi and her daughter are going to be staying at my house for a while since there's not enough housing on base. She's on a waiting list but she's 14th on the list. To me this doesn't make sense since our base has a bunch of new houses being built right now. A lot of them are completely done, like a couple of blocks. There should be no reason that some families shouldn't be able to move in there. Especially if they don't have enough housing available. Sure during the day it would be a little noisier, but at least people would have a house. I don't mind having Andi and Tarrean here though. Tarrean is an adorable child and Andi's a good friend. So this is actually going to be fun.

Guy Friends

I know that I have touched base on this subject before, but I think it's becoming a problem, and not just me but in a whole. I mostly prefer to hang out with guys, because I'm not big on the gossip scene. This never was a problem until I became a wife. I think the problem is three fold and this is why:

1. People gossip. Especially on a base where not very much goes on. Other people see you out with guys, know you husband is gone and next thing you know there's the gossip and speculation. How this is fair I'm not sure, but it happens.

2. Other wives. Now I know this isn't fair but it is partially to blame. I'm talking about the wives who are not good in moral standing. I've seen it happen myself. Wives who go out and cheat on their husbands while they are away because they are soooo lonely. Give me a break! You knew he wouldn't be home the whole time when you married him. Hello! Military does go away to do their job.

3. The guys that sleep with the wives. I'm not talking about the guys that have no clue, who meet these women in the bar, are lead on to believe they're single, and find out after the fact. I'm talking about the shipmates, who sleep with a wife that they know is a wife. Where is the sense of honor? How about respect? These guys do deserve to be brought to mast.

The combination of these three do not help women like me who would never in a million years cheat on their husbands but hang out with guys. I mean come on think about the bisexual women. They could sleep with a man or a women so what are they supposed to do? Sit in their house and twiddle their thumbs. As I've explained it to other people, the guys I hang out with I don't view them as a guy, I view them all as big gay brothers who are disgusted by the sight of women. I just wish that people would start to mind their own business. Quite frankly I think it makes a deployment harder having to second guess who I talk to, who comes over, who I go to the bars with. I mean until there is rock solid proof, why open your mouth? The speculation alone could ruin a marriage.

If you're a women like me, I believe this is the best way to handle it. My husband and I have a very open relationship. He knows about everyone I hang out with, and I email him, or if no email is available I write it in a letter about who I was hanging out with that day, what we did, where we went, all that sort of stuff. That way if someone goes to him and says your wife is cheating she was at this place with this guy, he already knows what was going on and it's not a big deal. Being open and honest is better, especially on a deployment. Trust is also a big factor, on both ends. Our husbands have enough to worry about over there and by telling them the details of the everyday going ons back home, you can put their minds at ease.

Letters To Friends

I officially have been around the military too long. I had wrote an email to one of my friends back home and her reply was.... "What the hell do all those 3 letter words mean that you wrote?" I went back over the email and sure enough about half of it was military jargon. I made the mistake about having to deal with PSD, fixing problems with our OHA, when and where we're hoping to PCS, and a few other things. The scary thing is the first time I read it through I didn't even notice anything wrong with the email. My husband is going to be so proud of me!!! So I think the military way of life is finally setting in!

Do you ever wonder?

Do you ever wonder what your life would be like if just one little thing changed in you past? Everyone says they have regrets, but I don't believe in regrets. This is why....

When I turned 18, I dropped out of high school, even though I had been accepted at two different colleges and became a stripper. Then add into the fact I married a man who I knew the marriage wouldn't last and that he was abusive. Fast forward a year annd a half and I'm leaving my ex and moviing into Minnetonka with another girl from the club I worked at. Fast forward a couple months and money isn't what it used to be so I buy The Exotic Dancer Guide, which is a catalog of all the strip clubs in the world. See an ad in there for GUAM! Mind you I had no idea where it was but by God three days later I was on a plane heading out here. Yes I believe in adventure. Start working at the clubs out here. Make friends, fall in love with the island, decide to stay past my three month stay. I date a few guys, have fun, drink A LOT. Trust me there are plenty of nights I don't remember all of them and woke up feeling it the next day. Do a stint as a bartender and take off early one nightto go drink with a friend named Shannon and meet the dd of the night named Brad. Enter future husband. Go back to being a stripper and break up with guy currently dating. Fall in love with soul mate. Have wedding that costs about $500, that most people pay thousands for. This is why I don't have regrets. If I hadn't dropped out of school and became a stripper I never would have had all of this happen to me and I never would have came to Guam and I never would have met my husband. If one detail had changed my life would e completely different. I have found that in life there is good and bad. Not everything is roses and not everything is horrible. You ride this rollercoaster and no matter what happens enjoy every minute of it. Take the lessons you learn and I strongly believe that no matter what happens never forget.

The Couple Diversion

So I may be a horrible person. Okay not really, but it's just the deployment talking. I have found that the hubby being gone does not make it easier to deal with other couples. Sometimes I just feel cheated, like the Navy is getting more from my marriage than I am. The Navy gets a hell of a lot more from my husband than I have gotten for a long, long time. Seeing happy couples out in public, especially here on base just doesn't seem fair. To see these guys home all the time, working 7 to 1 and then coming home everyday just doesn't seem fair. Yes I understand that my hubby has a different job, and yes I understand that it's not their fault but sometimes I can't help but get jealous. I am extemely proud of my husand and what he is doing for our country and I support him 100%, I just wish that he could do his job here and come home every night.

I hate dealing with other couples and I really don't deal well with other women so a majority of my friends are guys. Which has caused a whole new problem in my world. My hubby's friend out here, who I was/am friends with his wife has accused me of cheating on my husband because I hang out with guys. First and foremost this is not even remotely true. Second the hubby knows who I hang out with and pretty much gets one hell of a detailed account of the going ons while he's been gone. It just irks me that this guy has the audacity to tell me that I'm cheating on my hubby because I hang out with guys. Mind you this is the same guy who won't let his wife have her guy friends over to hang out while he's at work. I just wish that the drama would cease. I hate drama but obviously it never ends. I'm beyond ready for the hubby to get home.

The Guam Deal

So I love this island.... and I hate it. Somedays the isolation and raw beauty of the tropics is amazing, the next it can feel like a prison. The locals are extremely corrupt and I'd say about have hate Haoles (white people). I haven't seen my family in three years since plane tickets out of here are around $2,000 unless you MAC flight it, which can possibly lead to getting stranded in Hawaii for an indefinite amount of days. The ocean is amazing and pretty warm. Both the Navy and Air Force bases are nice, it's just that island life begins to wear on you after a while. If I wasn't such a loner by nature, I think by now I would have gone insane.

As for a countdown, I never use anything. I have found that the best way to avoid having any problems arise, it's easier just to keep my mouth shut. I have heard and known wives that have gotten in trouble for releasing classified information. I will not be one of them, so whenever anyone asks about the hubby coming home, I say in a long time, we're getting closer, or soon. I never mention, months, days, or anything that can give it away. That's just a policy I have adopted from what I have observed and definitely encourage others to follow this same policy.

Being On Base

So I've been on base for a little while now. I can't complain too much. The housing is really nice, I'm finally getting used to being here. I'm still suprised at how the neighboors keep their distance. By now I would have expected some form of welcome or a hello. As of this point in time I can honestly say I have not had one word said to me by my neighboors. I think I understand though. When you're in the military, or married to someone in the military, it's hard to make friends. Before you even approach someone you have a whole different list of things that could go wrong before the friendship even starts. Here's a few I've came up with, let me know if I missed any major ones.

1. How long are they going to be stationed here?

2. Which one is in the service and are they a higher rank than my spouse?

3. What type of spouse are they? (Gossipers are the worst!!!! Even worse than in the civillian world!)

4. Are they social climbers and will they try to use myself or my spouse in someway to advance in rank?

5. Believe it or not but I have heard this thrown around about other wives... How long and often is her husband deployed for?

Those are the five major ones that I've found and heard but the first two are the most important usually. It sucks to try and be friends with someone and it's even worse if they're leaving in the near future. I haven't done anything with the FRG yet, and I'm not sure if I will, although I think the hubby may want me to. I don't think the whole ex-stripper thing would go over too well, other than to supply the other wives with hours upon hours of gossiping for yours truly.

Other news is that I'm working out more lately. I have the bad habit of walking during the night since it's so hot during the day. Just another one of my eccentrities. The hubby sent home a package of stuff that he doesn't need on deployment anymore and our cat went absolutely insane. I put away most of the stuff and when I went to pick the box up to throw it out, I got hissed at! Apparently she still remembers him and misses him. Soon none of us will be missing him.

Scary Scary

So of course we can't be done with other countries decided to flex their pea size muscles. I don't understand why these other countries feel the need to shoot off their missles just to prove they have them. Why don't they make this a lot less hard and dangerous and just show each other their balls and call it a day? I understand that there will never be world peace, but why does there always have to be something horrible happening? Our soldiers are over in the Middle East defending our country and now another one needs to start causing problems. I just wish we could stop all the fighting, at least in the Middle East. Oh well. I just can't wait for the hubby to get home.

Things To Send

So when Brad left, I swore I was going to send him a package out there once a week. I have sent two packages in the last well almost six months. There is a reason for this. He's constantly moving out there and most of the time he wasn't at the base to recieve his mail. The things that I sent most were cards. I usually go to the NEX about once every week or two and pretty much everytime I went I picked up an I miss you card, or an I love you card. In fact my husband has gotten just about every card the NEX carries in those two categories. I also made a couple of CD's that had love songs and/or just some really good music on them that I knew he would enjoy. In the packages I made sure that pretty much everything that I sent was small and not very heavy. I included dice, cards, uno, and of course otc meds like Airbourne, DayQuil, Benedrayl stuff like that. What gets sent I guess depends on what they're being sent to do. If they're moving around a lot, small stuff matters. Letters are always good, just I never put extremely horrible news or anything that will worry Brad. As far as he will know everything is fine, I miss him like hell, and I write about the mundane happenings going on. I make sure not to mention the crisises, because a. there's nothing he can do over there but worry and b. by the time he gets the letter everything will be resolved and then he's wondering what's going on while waiting for another letter. I have found that a military wife has to be a very strong woman.

The Time Is Coming

I have never felt such a range of emotions. The time is almost to an end. One minute I'm laughing, the next I start freaking out over little things. I absolutely can't wait for the hubby to get home. I still have difficulty watching Army Wives. I ball like a baby through just about the whole episode. I've taken to zoning out randomly throughout the day and each time the scenario changes a bit. Sometimes I'm knocking my husband on the ground because I'm running so fast to get to him, sometimes we're like the classic 40's picture that everyone knows, sometimes well I will admit it gets a bit x-rated. I can't believe that it's getting so close. I am so sick of sleeping in our bed with just the dog and cat. You do not know disturbing until you wake up with one arm around the dog and getting a face wash with bad puppy breath. Have I mentioned the puppy I got for Brad snores? It's almost like he's in bed with me!!! But man I feel like I'm finally going to be able to start living again. I didn't realize how much I could possibly miss Brad, how a piece of me is out there with him and I can't be full until he comes home. I can't wait for this homecoming. Well I've rambled enough for tonight.