The Military Anniversary

Tommorow is my one year aniversary and of course, in the Navy fashion, my husband is in a school half a world away. It wasn't enough that he got deployed for seven months, but then they decided to send him to school for two weeks, right in the middle of which, is our anniversary. At least he'll be home for Christmas. On a happy note, I have found the joys of having to send home Christmas presents. Not only did we have to buy the gifts, but we also had to spend over 50 dollars to ship them. My luck half of them will be broken by the time they get to the mainland. Not to mention having to send out the 80 Christmas cards to family and friends.

My Christmas shopping went horrendously, which brings me back to an earlier complaint, about the locals. When I went shopping, they were swarming the store. The give aways from the exchange went mostly to local families. I mean, come on, seriously? I wish that the military, government, or someone would do something about this situation. It really isn't fair to the rest of us, when we have to compete with them. Oh well, I guess some things will never change. Happy Holidays!

Quitting Smoking

So I 'm attempting to quit smoking, which sucks, but I'm starting the process. It was not this hard to start, so why is it so damn hard to quit? My head hurts, I'm tired and don't want to move. So that's the news of the day.

Jobs, Jobs, Jobs

So how am I supposed to get and keep a job being aNavy wife? At least, I should say, this "close" to leaving. By close I mean a year and a half, but it looks like another deployment may be coming our way again. Here's the snafu... I get a normal job, and then I have to quit in about a year, give or take a few months, and then add in the predeployment, and/or move time to get the house situated and what not. Then add in the fact that none of this looks good on my employment record. I don't know, it's just the random thoughts popping through my head. I mean technically I have a job babysitting for Tarean, but I miss the actual workforce, the getting out of the house with adults, that stuff. I miss being able to gripe about the boss. Normal adult things that I am missing out on. One idea though that I have thrown around is writing a novel, but I'm not sure if it would sell. And if it didn't sell I would be positively devestated. I just have to give props to the wives that have careers and deal with the military life. That has to be hard.

Gone A While

So I haven't had much of a chance to write lately. Life has been busy busy busy. I'm currently babysitting a friend's 14 month old baby girl fulltime, attemting to still keep my house in tip top shape and trying to find time to spend with the hubby. In typical Navy fashion, they're sending him off island to a school and of course, he'll be gone for our one year annivesary. On a good note all of my Christmas cards are done! All 108 of them. Now we're just waiting for my mom to send us out the addresses for my side of the family. We are one dog short now... she just wouldn't get over her peeing problem. In fact it just got worse. I for one do not like having my brand new couch peed on twice a day. We still have Keona though and she's still the wondeful dog that she's always been. A little bit of a bed hog though. Navy Ball was well Navy Ball. Nothing toob suprising there. Our pictures turned out horrible and to top it off we paid $40 for them and all we got was a cd with 3 different poses and all of them looked hideous. This was definitely the last year ever we will get photos done. The hubby has had a lot of work to do lately, so he's been busy with that. The election pissed off a lot of people this year and everyone that I've talked to is worried about what this means for us. I know that a lot of us are going to be screwed if our pay gets cut. So that's the happenings out here. With the holidays quickly approaching, I have a feeling it's just going to get worse. Wish us luck!

Navy Ball Is Coming

So the Navy Ball is in less than a month. Of course my hubby doesn't understand why the panning has to start taking place now. I just got my dress and I am officially the shopping queen. I got a BCBG dress that was originally $368 for only $69. Yes I am that good. So now I'm trying to find an updo that I like. Don't get me wrong I have liked the last ones I have had to get but for once I want to plan it and find something that's really unique. So now the search is on. Plus I still have to go get shoes, a purse and jewelry.

On another note, the hubby being home has been good. We had our first fight so now we're back in "normal" mode and past the whole honeymoon, starry eyed, don't leave my sight mode. Which is nice. The dogs have adjusted well to Brad, which has been nice. So the only other news is that my house finally has pretty much all the big furniture now. We've been able to get a new couch, computer, bedroom set, computer desk and a bunch of the little stuff. Only a little bit more to get. I'm definitely loving living on base, just because of the lack of bills. Not haing a $500 a month power bill is always a plus. So that's all that's new on this end.

The Swing Of Things

Well it's been just over a week of huving the hubby home and we're finally getting back into a normal routine. Tonight is his OCD night of putting all of his stuff away since the final box came in. He said it made him realize that he was actually home now that all of his stuff is here. 

I on the other hand have finally got used to having someone sleep in bed with me again. In the beginning there were a few times where I woke up freaked out because I didn't realize why there was someone sleeping in bed with me. I guess that's what happens after sleeping alone for seven months. The novelty however of having a man in the house will never get old. I no longer have to do every little thing, which is nice. If something breaks all I have to do is yell. My laundry has tripled now and I'm actually making my bed right when we get up, instead of leaving it until after breakfast. All in all everything is going relatively decent. There were a few bumps on the road in the beginning but now everything is finally normal again. 

The Homecoming

Okay so my husband is officially home! Yeah! He's been home now for about 78 hours and it has been interesting. I guess I'll start with that night...

I was supposed to be at the compound at 0130 and they were going to be arriving shortly there after. Well I know I touched base on the Ombudsman problem... here's where it gets even better... I got my first phone call from her at 0145 standing ten feet away from her in the parking lot! Thank God I was able to find out when the hubby was coming in or I would have been pissed. So in typical military fashion they finally showed up at about 0300. By this time I was tired, my feet hurt from standing and my stress level was through the roof. But when my hubby walked off that bus, it was like Christmas, my birthday, anniversary and pretty much everything good that has ever happened to me rolled up into that moment. Luckily it was pretty much a grab and go, so that was nice. 

So far having him home has been an interesting transition. With a  lot of things we've fallen right back into place with each other. There was none of the awkwardness that I was worried about at all and I think that has a lot to do with the fact that we had really good communication while he was gone. The only snag so far, is that I don't make a grocery list anymore and when we went grocery shopping he got frustrated because  he didn't know what I was doing. Other than that it's been life as normal. Friday afternoon we went shopping and got a new living room couch and had dinner and wine at our friend Andi's house. Saturday we babysat Tarean and did a lot of errands. We also had a small bbq at the house so our close friends could come over and welcome the huby back. OHHH and on Saturday the guy that accused me of cheating called to talk to the hubby which was nice and amusing. He was nice enough to tell all of this to my husband and I won't go over the details, but lets just say he won't ever be calling this house again. Then Sunday we had a nice champagne brunch, did a bit more shopping and went out and shot pool for a bit and then came home and watched tv. All in all it's been a good weekend. The dogs are happy, I'm happy and the hubby's happy. Well tomorrow life goes back to normal. 

Butterflies

It's soon, very, very soon. I have butterflies, I can't think straight and I can't stop moving. Oh is it close. I'm trying to avoid clocks to no avail, the house is clean, and the dogs are brushed. All that's left is a shower, shave, makeup dress. Unfortunately that won't be done until closer to THE TIME. So that gives me about 5 hours of sitting around with the butterflies. Part of me is so so so so excited, another part is nervous, and a very teeny tiny part is kinda sad. It's not a bad sad, just a knowledge that things are going to change, but it is for a good way. I'm nervous about how he's going to be, how the well bedroom gymnastics are going to go, and how we're going to fit. Wow I can't believe the day is finally here. Well wish me luck, I'm going to pinesol the floor a couple more times! 

Planning A Homecoming

The day is almost here and I still can't figure out what to do for a big hoopala for my hubby's homecoming. Don't get me wrong, the house is clean, his bday presents are wrapped, after today Keona will be spayed and Winnie's shots will be up to date, the laundry's done, the reservations for Champagne Brunch are made for a few days after he gets back, but I'm not sure about what to do for the day of. I thought about chapagne or wine, but since we're going to the brunch, that seems kinda impractical. Streamers sounds just too tacky, not to mention I have to clean them up later on. I don't think I'll cook dinner since he said he wanted to go out to eat. He says I don't have to do anything, but that just doesn't seem worth it. Oh well, I'm sure I will figure something to do.

On a fun note, down to counting down on less than a hand and I'm beyond excited to finally get him home. A little anxious, but mostly excited. Looking back the last seven month have flown by, as they dragged on. I've learned a lot about myself during this time, and even more about my marriage and my husband. Only being able to talk has made it so my husband and I have discussed anything and everything. I've also become a stronger person, since I have had to do everything while he was gone. Well it's time to head to the vet. 

Lazy Sunday

So it's kinda weird but a part of  me is kind of going to miss the independence that I've had on this deployment. Don't get me wrong, I love my hubby and am extremely happy for him to come home, it's just that I've gotten used to how things have been. I think this is mostly because on the phone  last night he has already trying to change everything back here and I like how I do a lot of things and I also enjoy doing them myself. I don't know I guess it's just due to pre-homecoming jitters or something. So I'm enjoying my LAST Sunday without the hubby home by relaxing, taking the dog to get spayed and not doing much of anything. Yesterday was nice, I got to take the dogs to the beach and watch Puppet Master on tv. The funny thing about going to the beach is that for living on an island I definitely don't get to the beach very often. I think the last time I went was a month or two ago. Funny how time flies. Well I suppose I better get my day started. 

Truck Repairs

So I'm probably going to put my truck in the shop either today or tomorrow. The guy that hit the pole is getting back today, so hopefully I should be able to get the money from him. It'll be cutting it close for the day that my husband gets home and I may not have it for a day or two after he gets back, but at least it will finally be done. Of course it's going to make things difficult for the last week of getting the dogs to the vet and what not, but I'm sure we'll muddle through it all. On a lighter note, everything else seems to be coming together and I may, for once, have everything completely together. The butterflies in my stomach are a constant reminder of how close everything is getting. I can't wait for that day to get here.

Happy Birthday!!!!

Today is my hubby's 26th birthday. He is officially 26 years old. It sucks though that he isn't home to celebrate it. I have, however, tried to make it as festive as possible. When he called earlier I answered the phone singing Happy Birthday, and he said if I kept singing he was going to hang up on me. Of course I kept singing and he hung up the phone, but no worries he called me right back. I also sent out E-cards and contacted friends to remind them to send out cards. Also I have a champagne brunch planned for when he gets back. It's just another experience of the military life and how to deal with it.

Housekeeping

So having solid tile floor sucks. It's cold, hard, and seems to be constatly dirty. On the same note, it kinda makes me wonder about exactly how much dirt and crap carpeting hides. I wash my floors about once every other day and the water comes back BLACK. That just doesn't seem right. So today is the big go through and clean EVERYTHING day at my house. I have a mild form of OCD (thanks to the hubby), so my house stays pretty clean normally, but this is the toothbrush scrubbing every surface in the house cleaning. Everything's getting placed, dusted, polished, and disinfected. Wish me luck because it's going to be a long day.

Sucky Day

So today I got to run errands, or actually attempt to run errands. I brought the puppies with so that we could go to the park after I got everything done. I was almost to the first place I needed to go and they started puking all over the truck. Woohoo. So I sped down to GCC was told absolutely nothing of importance, other than I wasted my time driving down there, and hightailed it back. Keona managed to somehow projectile vomit down on Winnie and Winnie was drooling so bad she was soaked in it. So my day is pretty much shot. I think I'm going to stay in, finish the laundry, and clean my floors.

Fingers

We're down to counting off of fingers. Yes Fingers! I'm so excited it's unreal. I'm also still busy. I did however get my garden partially done today. About half and then I'm leaving the rest until the husband gets home and making him help me with it. See the problem is there are a lot of rocks in the ground, cement foundation for the house and frankly a lot of digging I don't want to do. The dogs are driving me insane but I've almost got the laundry done. I still have vet appointments, GCC appointment, picking a friend up from the airport and probably dropping him off a day or two later, and the final clean sweeps to do but it's all coming to a close. On a really fun note, the day or two after the hubby gets back, I get my new furniture! I'm so excited! A whole new living room set of my choosing, (with the hubby's approval of course!)! So since it's already a quarter to five, I'm going to wait for this load of laundry to finish, probably swing into a fast food joint to get some dinner, and then grab a book and spend one of the last nights I'll be able to reading without interruption.

Ombudsman/ FRG

So my hubby calls me today and asks me if I have gotten a call recently from the Ombudsman or the woman in charge of the FRG recently. Mind you I have heard nothing from anyone associated with the command except about a month into the deployment, when I got a call to let me know about the Captain's Call. Well apparently the FRG and the Ombudsman made the sign for the guys homecoming the other day. I sure as hell never got a call. Well my husband was kind enough to inform me that only six wives showed up and apparently a bunch of the other guys wives were never notified about it either. So help me God if I don't get a call about the exact date/time/place of my hubby coming home. I will be so pissed if I get a call from him saying hey I'm home where are you. People's heads will ROLL!!!

Close

My hubby's homecoming is so close that the sleepless nights have returned with a vengance. I keep having different versions with the same theme for a nightmare. It all has to do with my fear that something is going to go wrong when he gets home. It probably doesn't help that I haven't heard from him in the last couple of days, so now I'm worried he's mad at me. I'm just so over this and how frustrating it has been. I'm sick of waiting, I'm done being patient, I'm just DONE!!! Add in the fact that before he gets home I have to (take a deep breath...) finish the garden, take the dog to get spayed, pick up a friend from the airport, help put a battery in a car, clean the house, figure out what to cook for the first dinner, clean the truck out, clean the garage, finish all the laundry, wash all the bedding, run around and do all the normal errands, and still find time to breathe. I really didn't think that the hubby coming home would be this nerve wracking.

A Military Wife

I picked this up somewhere... pass it on!!!

I am a military wife.

I love my husband and know that he loves me, but the military comes first and foremeost in our household

I support the President of the United States 100%, even if I don't like some of his ideas, because he is my Commander In Chief too.

I will lie awake in bed long into the night worrying when my husband is deployed.

I will cry at some of the smallest things while he is gone because I miss him.

I refuse to watch the news because it's either a. going to make me mad, or b. worry the hell out of me.

I will always support my husband, no matter where in the world he is.

I will sit by the phone and computer for long hours waiting for that one brief phone call or that one line email, that I will replay over and over again in my head for days or even weeks to come.

I will deal with anything that comes my way with elegance and grace, because that is what is expected of me.

This is my life, and I am proud to say I am a military wife!

Tensions Running High

The past two days have sucked. Everytime my hubby has called we've basically been arguing about stuff. Most of it is stupid stuff and we just got it figured out. A lot of it had to do with the fact that both of our emotions are running extremely high. I'm at the point where I am basically staying at home and trying to get everything just right. I know everyone says that you can't plan the perfect homecoming but I'm going to try my damnedest to make it as close as possible. My hubby on the other hand is still nervous about where he's going to fit in and is wondering about everything (including me) and how things have changed. It doesn't help that now I'm getting a bunch of phonecalls, although by the third or fourth time he calls, (and don't get me wrong I love hearing his voice), but I really don't know that much and we run out of stuff to talk about. I mean seriously, there are only so many rooms in the house and only so many positions in the Kama Sutra ;). I just am worried about how I'm going to react to my husand being in the house everyday, every night, and I know my routine is going to change drastically. I mean how do you get used to living with someone who has been gone for so long. Only military wives have to get used to being with there husbands over and over again. I think civilian wives take their husbands for granted and it's hard not to be jealous of friends who are married back home. It also limits the people you can talk to, because no one, not even my mom, understands the different stresses that we face everyday. My parents keep harrassing me to come home for a visit this whole deployment, and I've tried again and again to explain to them that with Brad gone, I don't just have my day to day stuff going on, I have his too. God help me when we have kids, I may just lose what little is left of my mind. I will say this though, military families are some of the strongest around. HOOYAH!

Change

I was on the phone with my husband last night and he said that I've changed. It got me to start thinking that maybe deployment does change the ones left behind. We get so used to doing, doing, doing and we get our routines and we know that at the end of the day we don't have someone at home that can help us. I have had to become more responsible and self reliant. He also said something that made me think. He told me that he didn't know where he was going to fit in when he got home, and it made me realize that I'm so set in my ways that it's going to be hard to split up the chores again. A lot of changes are coming my way soon, although the date keeps getting pushed to the right, which sucks. So I'm not sure yet how this newest development is going to play out.

Taking Too Long

In the last four days I have spent about 12 hours a day out of my house. It seems that since the hubby has been gone everything takes longer to get done, instead of going quicker. I am so sick of being in my truck and being in stores and being around people that for most of today I am vegging out on my couch. It's days like this that I really miss him and wish he was home. Believe it or not husbands really do help when it comes to running errands. I miss those days when I can just pick up the phone and ask him to pick up something on his way home. With him gone it now means I have to stop what I'm doing and head down there and then I usually run into a few of the other wives, which means I have to stop, talk and next thing I know an hour has passed and I'm still not home. I also went into Home Depot the other day, which was interesting in it's own way. I wanted to find that wallpaper border stuff so my walls wouldn't be so white or get some paint and paint the walls partially. This is where boys come in, because they know how hard it is to do this stuff and if it's even possible. I pretty much just stared at everythig and then decided to just come home and worry about it once the hubby the gets home. Remember utilize your hubby while he's home, because while he's gone you're stuck doing everything by yourself.

The Scared Feeling

Well it's gotten even closer to the homecoming. So now the fear is sinking in that something is going to go wrong. I'm constantly anxious and anytime I try to do something it turns into a comedy show my thoughts are so scattered. Although one thing I have found is if you threaten a guys friends that if you can't find him, you're going to his chief to make him give you the money to fix your truck before your husband gets home, you will get a call at 2230 waking you up and you will get your money. Maybe it's just the closeness to the date but I find myself just wanting to not deal with people. Well I gotta head to the NEX and get some supplies.

Waiting

My day is shot all to hell. I had the grand vision of getting my grocery shopping done, getting to the NEX, helping Andi finish move, pay the guy who's going to fix my truck... I've halfway helped Andi move. Nothing has gone right at all. Gotta love Murphy's Law. I'm so over this deployment and having to do everything myself. I don't know how other wives keep jobs. With everything I have going on in a day, I would never be able to sleep if I worked. Oh and I kinda got another puppy. Welcome to the circus. So hopefully tomorrow will be a little bit better and I will be able to get everything else accomplished.

The Guam Problem

So I know I speak for just about every mainland wife who has been stationed in Guam. I hate trying to shop out here. On base is the worse. Now if you're a wife anywhere else you are allowed to bring one guest with you into your exchange and commissary. Out here is the only base in the world where that is not an option. The cause? The locals. The ones that still are allowed base privilages buy for their relatives anyway, so it really hasn't fixed the problem. I definitely have a problem attempting to go shopping for dinner and to not be able to get any meat because the locals next to me have literally a cart filled to the top of nothing but meat. I don't think it's fair that people like this still get access when it causes such a problem for the rest of us. I understand base is cheaper than the local grocery stores but by abusing the privilages that you have, you're making life harder for the rest of us. A lot of the time lately I've had to go off base to do my grocery shopping because the commissary has been sold out. I've found the best way to get food is to go all the way to the opposite end of the island to the Air Force base because their security is tighter which means it's harder for the locals to get access. So usually their food selection is decent.

Country and Support

So maybe I'm the only one picking up on this, but why has there been such a steady decline in support for our country and troops. It seems like lately there's numerous people complaining about America or our troops. Now if this was coming from another country, I wouldn't pay attention to it, however it's coming from our own citizens. Don't get me wrong at times there have been mistakes made, but lets face it, we're all human so naturally we're going to make mistakes every once in a while. I just don't get how people can live in this country and then constantly criticize it. If you think somewhere else is so great to live, by all means feel free to live there. What happened to the days where it didn't take a tragedy or the Fourth of July for people to fly the American Flag outside their home? Is it just that people have such a short attention span now that they forget about Osama? You know what? Fine lets forget about him, pull out of the Middle East and give him a couple years so he can attack us again. I mean come on, whats a few thousand lives. As for the people that talk shit about our troops, (politically incorrect warning) GO FUCK YOURSELVES! My husband, our friends and hell even people Idon't know but STILL RESPECT are out there risking their lives to keep yours alive and able to say those things. It makes me wonder if sometimes people take their rights for granted, or at least abuse them. Like the "preacher" from Kansas that protests soldiers funerals. I swear if I was one of those wives, he would not be alive. I would gladly spend the rest of my days in jail for killing him and all of his followers. I don't have a problem with protesters, as long as there is some basis for their protests. I could go on for days about grievances but I'll sum it up...

If your loved ones are at home safe and sound every night, and you don't feel like you're in danger every waking second of every day because a bomb might drop on your house, thank a soldier and think before you speak. Take a step back and realize exactly how lucky you are to live in this great country. Oh yeah and stop moaning about things that need to be fixed and actually fix them.

A Housefull

So my house is going to be estrogen central. My friend Andi and her daughter are going to be staying at my house for a while since there's not enough housing on base. She's on a waiting list but she's 14th on the list. To me this doesn't make sense since our base has a bunch of new houses being built right now. A lot of them are completely done, like a couple of blocks. There should be no reason that some families shouldn't be able to move in there. Especially if they don't have enough housing available. Sure during the day it would be a little noisier, but at least people would have a house. I don't mind having Andi and Tarrean here though. Tarrean is an adorable child and Andi's a good friend. So this is actually going to be fun.

Guy Friends

I know that I have touched base on this subject before, but I think it's becoming a problem, and not just me but in a whole. I mostly prefer to hang out with guys, because I'm not big on the gossip scene. This never was a problem until I became a wife. I think the problem is three fold and this is why:

1. People gossip. Especially on a base where not very much goes on. Other people see you out with guys, know you husband is gone and next thing you know there's the gossip and speculation. How this is fair I'm not sure, but it happens.

2. Other wives. Now I know this isn't fair but it is partially to blame. I'm talking about the wives who are not good in moral standing. I've seen it happen myself. Wives who go out and cheat on their husbands while they are away because they are soooo lonely. Give me a break! You knew he wouldn't be home the whole time when you married him. Hello! Military does go away to do their job.

3. The guys that sleep with the wives. I'm not talking about the guys that have no clue, who meet these women in the bar, are lead on to believe they're single, and find out after the fact. I'm talking about the shipmates, who sleep with a wife that they know is a wife. Where is the sense of honor? How about respect? These guys do deserve to be brought to mast.

The combination of these three do not help women like me who would never in a million years cheat on their husbands but hang out with guys. I mean come on think about the bisexual women. They could sleep with a man or a women so what are they supposed to do? Sit in their house and twiddle their thumbs. As I've explained it to other people, the guys I hang out with I don't view them as a guy, I view them all as big gay brothers who are disgusted by the sight of women. I just wish that people would start to mind their own business. Quite frankly I think it makes a deployment harder having to second guess who I talk to, who comes over, who I go to the bars with. I mean until there is rock solid proof, why open your mouth? The speculation alone could ruin a marriage.

If you're a women like me, I believe this is the best way to handle it. My husband and I have a very open relationship. He knows about everyone I hang out with, and I email him, or if no email is available I write it in a letter about who I was hanging out with that day, what we did, where we went, all that sort of stuff. That way if someone goes to him and says your wife is cheating she was at this place with this guy, he already knows what was going on and it's not a big deal. Being open and honest is better, especially on a deployment. Trust is also a big factor, on both ends. Our husbands have enough to worry about over there and by telling them the details of the everyday going ons back home, you can put their minds at ease.

Letters To Friends

I officially have been around the military too long. I had wrote an email to one of my friends back home and her reply was.... "What the hell do all those 3 letter words mean that you wrote?" I went back over the email and sure enough about half of it was military jargon. I made the mistake about having to deal with PSD, fixing problems with our OHA, when and where we're hoping to PCS, and a few other things. The scary thing is the first time I read it through I didn't even notice anything wrong with the email. My husband is going to be so proud of me!!! So I think the military way of life is finally setting in!

Do you ever wonder?

Do you ever wonder what your life would be like if just one little thing changed in you past? Everyone says they have regrets, but I don't believe in regrets. This is why....

When I turned 18, I dropped out of high school, even though I had been accepted at two different colleges and became a stripper. Then add into the fact I married a man who I knew the marriage wouldn't last and that he was abusive. Fast forward a year annd a half and I'm leaving my ex and moviing into Minnetonka with another girl from the club I worked at. Fast forward a couple months and money isn't what it used to be so I buy The Exotic Dancer Guide, which is a catalog of all the strip clubs in the world. See an ad in there for GUAM! Mind you I had no idea where it was but by God three days later I was on a plane heading out here. Yes I believe in adventure. Start working at the clubs out here. Make friends, fall in love with the island, decide to stay past my three month stay. I date a few guys, have fun, drink A LOT. Trust me there are plenty of nights I don't remember all of them and woke up feeling it the next day. Do a stint as a bartender and take off early one nightto go drink with a friend named Shannon and meet the dd of the night named Brad. Enter future husband. Go back to being a stripper and break up with guy currently dating. Fall in love with soul mate. Have wedding that costs about $500, that most people pay thousands for. This is why I don't have regrets. If I hadn't dropped out of school and became a stripper I never would have had all of this happen to me and I never would have came to Guam and I never would have met my husband. If one detail had changed my life would e completely different. I have found that in life there is good and bad. Not everything is roses and not everything is horrible. You ride this rollercoaster and no matter what happens enjoy every minute of it. Take the lessons you learn and I strongly believe that no matter what happens never forget.

The Couple Diversion

So I may be a horrible person. Okay not really, but it's just the deployment talking. I have found that the hubby being gone does not make it easier to deal with other couples. Sometimes I just feel cheated, like the Navy is getting more from my marriage than I am. The Navy gets a hell of a lot more from my husband than I have gotten for a long, long time. Seeing happy couples out in public, especially here on base just doesn't seem fair. To see these guys home all the time, working 7 to 1 and then coming home everyday just doesn't seem fair. Yes I understand that my hubby has a different job, and yes I understand that it's not their fault but sometimes I can't help but get jealous. I am extemely proud of my husand and what he is doing for our country and I support him 100%, I just wish that he could do his job here and come home every night.

I hate dealing with other couples and I really don't deal well with other women so a majority of my friends are guys. Which has caused a whole new problem in my world. My hubby's friend out here, who I was/am friends with his wife has accused me of cheating on my husband because I hang out with guys. First and foremost this is not even remotely true. Second the hubby knows who I hang out with and pretty much gets one hell of a detailed account of the going ons while he's been gone. It just irks me that this guy has the audacity to tell me that I'm cheating on my hubby because I hang out with guys. Mind you this is the same guy who won't let his wife have her guy friends over to hang out while he's at work. I just wish that the drama would cease. I hate drama but obviously it never ends. I'm beyond ready for the hubby to get home.

The Guam Deal

So I love this island.... and I hate it. Somedays the isolation and raw beauty of the tropics is amazing, the next it can feel like a prison. The locals are extremely corrupt and I'd say about have hate Haoles (white people). I haven't seen my family in three years since plane tickets out of here are around $2,000 unless you MAC flight it, which can possibly lead to getting stranded in Hawaii for an indefinite amount of days. The ocean is amazing and pretty warm. Both the Navy and Air Force bases are nice, it's just that island life begins to wear on you after a while. If I wasn't such a loner by nature, I think by now I would have gone insane.

As for a countdown, I never use anything. I have found that the best way to avoid having any problems arise, it's easier just to keep my mouth shut. I have heard and known wives that have gotten in trouble for releasing classified information. I will not be one of them, so whenever anyone asks about the hubby coming home, I say in a long time, we're getting closer, or soon. I never mention, months, days, or anything that can give it away. That's just a policy I have adopted from what I have observed and definitely encourage others to follow this same policy.

Being On Base

So I've been on base for a little while now. I can't complain too much. The housing is really nice, I'm finally getting used to being here. I'm still suprised at how the neighboors keep their distance. By now I would have expected some form of welcome or a hello. As of this point in time I can honestly say I have not had one word said to me by my neighboors. I think I understand though. When you're in the military, or married to someone in the military, it's hard to make friends. Before you even approach someone you have a whole different list of things that could go wrong before the friendship even starts. Here's a few I've came up with, let me know if I missed any major ones.

1. How long are they going to be stationed here?

2. Which one is in the service and are they a higher rank than my spouse?

3. What type of spouse are they? (Gossipers are the worst!!!! Even worse than in the civillian world!)

4. Are they social climbers and will they try to use myself or my spouse in someway to advance in rank?

5. Believe it or not but I have heard this thrown around about other wives... How long and often is her husband deployed for?

Those are the five major ones that I've found and heard but the first two are the most important usually. It sucks to try and be friends with someone and it's even worse if they're leaving in the near future. I haven't done anything with the FRG yet, and I'm not sure if I will, although I think the hubby may want me to. I don't think the whole ex-stripper thing would go over too well, other than to supply the other wives with hours upon hours of gossiping for yours truly.

Other news is that I'm working out more lately. I have the bad habit of walking during the night since it's so hot during the day. Just another one of my eccentrities. The hubby sent home a package of stuff that he doesn't need on deployment anymore and our cat went absolutely insane. I put away most of the stuff and when I went to pick the box up to throw it out, I got hissed at! Apparently she still remembers him and misses him. Soon none of us will be missing him.

Scary Scary

So of course we can't be done with other countries decided to flex their pea size muscles. I don't understand why these other countries feel the need to shoot off their missles just to prove they have them. Why don't they make this a lot less hard and dangerous and just show each other their balls and call it a day? I understand that there will never be world peace, but why does there always have to be something horrible happening? Our soldiers are over in the Middle East defending our country and now another one needs to start causing problems. I just wish we could stop all the fighting, at least in the Middle East. Oh well. I just can't wait for the hubby to get home.

Things To Send

So when Brad left, I swore I was going to send him a package out there once a week. I have sent two packages in the last well almost six months. There is a reason for this. He's constantly moving out there and most of the time he wasn't at the base to recieve his mail. The things that I sent most were cards. I usually go to the NEX about once every week or two and pretty much everytime I went I picked up an I miss you card, or an I love you card. In fact my husband has gotten just about every card the NEX carries in those two categories. I also made a couple of CD's that had love songs and/or just some really good music on them that I knew he would enjoy. In the packages I made sure that pretty much everything that I sent was small and not very heavy. I included dice, cards, uno, and of course otc meds like Airbourne, DayQuil, Benedrayl stuff like that. What gets sent I guess depends on what they're being sent to do. If they're moving around a lot, small stuff matters. Letters are always good, just I never put extremely horrible news or anything that will worry Brad. As far as he will know everything is fine, I miss him like hell, and I write about the mundane happenings going on. I make sure not to mention the crisises, because a. there's nothing he can do over there but worry and b. by the time he gets the letter everything will be resolved and then he's wondering what's going on while waiting for another letter. I have found that a military wife has to be a very strong woman.

The Time Is Coming

I have never felt such a range of emotions. The time is almost to an end. One minute I'm laughing, the next I start freaking out over little things. I absolutely can't wait for the hubby to get home. I still have difficulty watching Army Wives. I ball like a baby through just about the whole episode. I've taken to zoning out randomly throughout the day and each time the scenario changes a bit. Sometimes I'm knocking my husband on the ground because I'm running so fast to get to him, sometimes we're like the classic 40's picture that everyone knows, sometimes well I will admit it gets a bit x-rated. I can't believe that it's getting so close. I am so sick of sleeping in our bed with just the dog and cat. You do not know disturbing until you wake up with one arm around the dog and getting a face wash with bad puppy breath. Have I mentioned the puppy I got for Brad snores? It's almost like he's in bed with me!!! But man I feel like I'm finally going to be able to start living again. I didn't realize how much I could possibly miss Brad, how a piece of me is out there with him and I can't be full until he comes home. I can't wait for this homecoming. Well I've rambled enough for tonight.

Murphy's Law

I never believed in Murphy's Law until this deployment. This morning I woke up, took my new puppy out (yes I got a puppy for my husband as a coming home present), and when I got back in the house the poor thing started vomiting all over the floor. So of course it was time to go to the vet. Well over $150 later, the puppy has medicine and I can go home and relax. Then I find out that to fix the damamge done to the truck is going to be $2800. I think that if it could go wrong, it definitely has. Have I mentioned I haven't told my husband that my dd backed into a pole? Waiting for a phone call to tell him, or at least that's what I'm telling myself. I'm not looking forward to that conversation. Well that's the newest happenings in the House of Id!

Getting Closer

So I don't have much experience at this whole Navy wife whose husband is deployed thing, but now that the homecoming date is getting closer I'm starting to get nervous. I mean my hubby has been gone soooooo long and now I'm starting to get a little freaked. I mean how in the hell are you supposed to pick up after 7 + months of being apart like everything's okay? God do I miss him though. I think I am beginning to slowly lose my mind. Although that would probably shock my neighboors if I started walking around the neighboorhood in a bathrobe! I have also found that telling your friends that you're going to have to dig the hole deeper if the body is going to fit while gardening is not smart while other people are around. I can already hear the rumors already... "You know that woman in Unit 21? Well I heard that she killed a busload of small children and kittens and is burying them in her garden!" Ahhhh I actually would probably piss myself laughing if the MA's actually showed up at my door. But back to the important subject, my hubby getting back. I mean it's bad enough he's been gone, but he's already told me that he's going to be extremely busy. So is there going to even be any time to spend with me? I keep going ack and forth on what to expect. I'm the eternal optimist and have visions of flowers and whispered sweet nothings but I don't want to get my hopes up. And don't get me started on sex! I love my husband I love sex with my husband but dear God after seven months it's kinda almost losing my virginity all over again. Crap I just wish something could be different about how the military works. At least it would help if it was a little less stressful. I don't know how something so happy and exciting can be oh so scary at the same time.

Time

So I'm 23. Not that old, not that young. In the grand scheme of things 5 months is a relatively short time. Well it sure doesn't feel like it. Since Brad left I feel like years and years have crawled by and I just sat there waiting. What's weird is at the same time it feels like just yesterday I was dropping him off at the compound then driving home balling my eyes out. I don't think most people can go through what us wives do. I have friends who sit around and say how lucky I am to not have Brad at home all the time and that they wish their husbands would join so they could get them out of the house. I'm thankful for these friends because they have taught me exactly how much self control I have because I haven't reached out and slapped them... yet.

So Brad and I were emailing earlier and I want to know why I always end up playing the game alphabet soup. I swear I cringe at even three letter words now. The fun this that I probably shouldn't do is make up my own meanings for them....MAC...My Ass Cringes (Master @ Arms Chief)... OHA.... Overly Hateful American (Overseas Housing Allowance). I think you get the idea. Unfortunately there are so many of these I could go on for days. I've almost given up and have found that sometimes it's easier to just smile and nod instead of ask for a definition, which then turns into a 30 minute explanation of exactly what that is and how it works. Oh well, at least everythings SNAFU.

Moved In

Well I'm moved in. I now am learning a new way of life... base life. My neighboors are, how should I put this, interesting. I'm suprised that none of them have started to bother me, but then again I am the weird one. It probably doesn't help that I'm in married housing and there has been no husband running around. I've noticed a lot of moving blinds and sly looks. Others just blatantly stare. I bet the gossip mills are running off the hook. On a brighter note the house is set up and now I'm just waiting for my new furniture. Well that's all that has been going on.

Moving Alone

So wonderful idea of the husband... Let's move on base!!! Better yet, how about the move take place when Brad's gone and I get to do it all alone!! Not so much fun. First of all I have found out from this experience how much most of my "friends" suck. On the day I was supposed to move I could only find two people to help me. One of my supposedly good friends never picked up the phone and from there it went downhill. It was definitely a circus. True to form up until the day I moved, it had been really good weather, lots of sun and no rain. Of course the day I move is the day it starts to randomly downpour. Add in the fact that my housing inspection wasn't until 3 in the afternoon, meant that I wasn't able to get started until about 4 pm so the first couple loads were done during rush hour. Oh yes it was a barrel of fun that's for sure. So to sum things up I am never ever moving without packers again.

Keeping Busy With Near Death Experiences

So to keep myself occupied while the hubby is gone I have decided to go hiking with friends. Sounds like a great idea, right? Well sorta. Yesterday we attempted to hike to Cool Cave. (Yes that is the name of it) Well we end up leaving late so that already gives us a limited amount of time and we have really no clue where this cave is other than a generalized description. (Two boulders on the ground at the base of the cliff) Well after a little while I make the joke that we'll find it on the way back and low and behold that's exactly what happens. So now we're going back on Sunday morning to attempt this again. Other hiking experiences to keep busy usually include sliding down cliff sides and almost getting heat stroke due to running out of water. I've also managed to lose my keys to my house, truck, and mailbox all at once. So I'm definitely looking forward to what new adventures I'm going to have soon!

Irrational Fears

So a little more background info before this can be told. For the longest time I have been afraid of two diseases... Marburg and Ebola. I have read a few books about the subject and they scare the crap out of me. So onward with the story.

My husband called me a little while ago and was nice enough to inform me he's in Africa. Okay most wives would worry about the fighting in the country, malaria and other random diseases. First thought in my mind was Ebola. So for the whole conversation all I can think of is how my husband is going to contract this virus. Fast forward to the night time and the nightmares begin. I was dreaming of my husband getting Ebola and having no one to help him. Welcome to my world. Well that's all on the super killer disease.

The BBQ Files

So there is one thing a woman should never, ever do. That my friends is BBQ. My husband is the king of BBQ. I, however, am not. Let me backup and explain.

I decided to have a BBQ. The last one at our apartment since we're going to be moving into base housing. So I invite a couple people over and get ready. First crisis begins with the marinade. I have no idea how to marinade. So I winged it. Second problem arises when everyone is late and then it's just boring because besides Amanda the other three people there are my husbands friends. So off to a horrible start. Then I BBQ. I think hell would be cooler than standing in front of a charcol grill. Well the night ends with me "sucking" because I don't stay up late and 2230 is late for me. So all in all I have decided that this is just one of those things that I am not good at because a BBQ that you host has to be done as a couple not with just one of you. I just wish I could stop treading water and finally reach shore.

The Crying Game

So I have realized what it's going to be like when I'm pregnant, at least emotionally. Now I am the type of person that normally does not cry. Well since Brad left, the littlest thing will set me off. I cannot go through a whole television episode usually without crying about something. In my husband's infinite wisdom he suggested that I start watching Army Wives. I balled through every episode, but it's a good show. Not to mention just walking through the NEX can inspire a crying fit by association. The hard part is trying not to cry when the husband calls. One thing I learned is that so matter what everything is okay when the husband calls. No matter what I am fine, I miss him I love him but I'm muddling through. Hey I think that's the best term of how I deal with a deployment. I muddle through it!

Humans Aren't the Only Ones

So first major problem arose the day my husband left. We have a cat named Rawnie. The first day wasn't too bad. I worked and then came home and passed out. Well for the next week Rawnie would wait by the window or door for hours waiting for Brad to come home. At night she would sleep on his clothes that were in the closet. When I finally closed the closet doors, she figured out how to open them so she could sleep on his clothes. His pillow became her pillow. So to remedy this situation, I decided to get her a pet. I ended up heading out to the pet store and got a kitten. Believe it or not this was just what the doctor ordered. Within an hour they were chasing each other around the house and playing. The new kitten, Cleio, was a godsend for me as well. She's very cuddly so while I read she will usually come sleep on my lap. She even sleeps underneath the covers in bed! It's hard when you have pets because there's no way to explain to them that they haven't been abandoned. All they know is one day a part of there family disappeared. So you try to make them feel safe and I'll even put my husband on speakerphone when I get calls so Rawnie can hear his voice. I think it will be extremely interesting once Brad come's hoome to see how Rawnie and Cleio both act.

Marriage + Navy = Deployment

So this will be the first of many blogs hopefully! I'll start with an introduction and a little background. My name's Jenn. I'm married to a wonderful man named Brad, who just happens to be serving in the USN. God help me. I'm originally from Minnesota and we met out here in Guam. Well we got married on December 4th, 2007. We are still technically newlyweds and 54 days later he was being deployed for roughly seven months. Welcome to my world. I've learned a lot though in this short period of time. I now know to make appointments at PSD instead of going in and waiting, that I will be able to sign my name, birthdate, ssn, my husbands ssn and the date (in d/m/y format of course), always to have my id on me, and of course as soon as that plane left the ground things were going to start going wrong. I am proud of myself though. I am now able to drive a motor vehicle all by myself after getting two teeth extracted to the hospital the next day to get my pain meds. I also have figured out how to put coolant and windshield wiper fluid in our truck! I never realized though how alone I would feel. How empty an apartment can become in such a short amount of time. A lot of the time I feel as if I am the only one in the world, just kinda hanging out in limbo until my husband gets home so life can begin again. I've noticed that most people don't know how to treat us deployment wives. Our single friends are afraid to take us out for fear of us getting a little too crazy and the married ones with husbands who are home just sometimes make us long for those nights where we could cuddle with the hubby on the couch. I have decided to start this as a way to vent. To let out some of the emotions that I cannot share completely with the hubby because the last thing he needs is to be worrying about me. These are my adventures so enjoy!!!